The lucky ones arrive at the first chapter of life with a deep well of knowing, a sense of purpose that flows into everything they do. From their first reach for a stuffed horse or their determination to build the perfect Lego ship, to their refusal to leave the beach or their longing looks at the stars, they seem to know why they are here and so does everyone around them. Maybe it’s a slow build, maybe it consumes them, or maybe it’s just a quiet, steady voice guiding their way.
For others, purpose can feel like a scattering of dreams, hobbies, careers, and possibilities. They are pulled in so many directions, each one calling their name, making
it nearly impossible to say no. Some last a season, some a lifetime.
And then there are those of us who become so consumed by the quest for purpose that they teeter on the brink of madness, endlessly seeking the one reason they were put on this earth. They wait for a sign or pull that is undeniable and irresistible.
So why do we all long for this never-ending well of inner purpose? Is it a search for meaning, direction, or self-worth? And how do we know if we’ve found it? One thing I’ve noticed about those who possess a strong sense of purpose is that their exchange does not have conditions. It’s a gift given from a store that never ever runs out of inventory. They’ve discovered something they are happy to give freely because the act itself fulfills them.
Have you ever received a gift of food from someone’s garden and your first thought is, I’m going to make them something in return? If so, you’ve stepped into the beautiful world of the gift economy.
“Every living soul needs to feel three things to thrive: Connection, Contribution, and Capability. The gift economy has these in spades”
In her book, The Serviceberry, Robin Wall Kimmerer explains how “gratitude and reciprocity are the currency in a gift economy and they have the remarkable property of multiplying with every exchange.” This model of living rests heavily on the confidence in abundance. Mother Earth demonstrates by giving endlessly. The berries return every year, the sun shines upon them, and they nourish the birds, animals, insects, and ultimately the soil. They even fill our smoothies and pies. Mother Earth never says, “well, there might not be enough for me, so I’m gonna hold onto this water and not send it down the river.” She never withholds out of fear that there won’t be enough.
The opposite of abundance is scarcity, and it’s the foundation of our modern economy. It leans toward hoarding, fear, and disconnection through isolation and self-centeredness. It demands an exchange of commodities. It’s transactional: one thing for another. And once you pay, the exchange is over with no invitation to contribute your own unique gifts.
Every living soul needs to feel three things to thrive: Connection, Contribution, and Capability. The gift economy has these in spades. But you might be thinking, what do I have to give? How can I contribute?
Start with what you love and let it grow from there.
Even those who may appear to have the least among us understand this deeply and benefit immensely from giving.
A Parksville local finds his purpose on the streets
Jayson, or Highway Jay as he is affectionately known, is a local young man living in Parksville. You may have seen him along the roads in his bright orange jumpsuit, hauling up mounds of garbage or relentlessly cleaning the sidewalks.
I ran into him recently on one of the trails in Parksville. He was pulling out old foam mattresses, tin cans, and debris buried beneath layers of dirt and leaves—waste long forgotten, slowly seeping into the ground and nearby river. With a trike and a large container hitched to the back, he collects bag after bag. And wherever he’s working, you’ll see his signs: Positive Energy. Be Positive. Positivity at Work.
He’s not just cleaning, he’s restoring. For the benefit of the community and the earth we all share, he leaves the streets and trails better than he found them. This sense of purpose fuels him, and it’s spreading.
A friend of his was inspired by his efforts and has recently begun doing the same work in Nanaimo. Jayson has created a small but mighty gift economy, and the people of Parksville are inspired to give back and show their gratitude. Community members bring him lunches, coffee (always a triple-triple from Tim’s), and even help him find safe places to stay. Highway Jay’s Facebook page has 3,700 followers with regular comments of encouragement and gratitude. The circle of reciprocity is expanding through his actions.
When asked if he ever feels any resentment towards those who carelessly leave waste behind, he simply responds that he “understands and hopes they might choose differently tomorrow.” Or maybe they won’t, and that’s okay with him too.
Jayson believes in the goodness inherent in everyone, the ability to change, and the power of integrity. He refuses to speak negatively about anyone, gently guiding conversations towards kindness. His formidable sense of purpose drives him to continue spreading the message of positivity and freely giving what one has to offer. This selfless contribution far exceeds the landscapes he improves, and he plans to take his mission worldwide. I don’t doubt that he will.
The impact of finding one’s purpose can be seen in cultures worldwide, often contributing to longevity and an improved quality of life. In the Netflix docuseries, Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones, Dan Buettner explores unique communities where people thrive through connection and contribution. In Italy, generations gather to cook, laugh, and care for one another, ensuring a 90-year-old aunt living alone remains connected and valued while bringing meaning to everyone’s day-to-day life. Generational cohabitation provides a perfect recipe for each to share their unique gifts.
In Japan, the concept of Ikigai, one’s reason for being, cultivates a sense of purpose and has been recognized for bringing deep meaning to people’s lives. It is also a lifelong source of motivation and learning. Through gardening, volunteering, playing an instrument, or daily rituals, Ikigai fosters a sense of capability and contribution.
Since I do not count myself among the lucky ones who have had their purpose guiding them from their first chapter, I search for meaning in both the big and small moments of my life. But until the day my true purpose and I are on the same page, I will continue to nurture myself, my community, and this earth through giving, gratitude, and reciprocity.
As Highway Jay says, “Afterall, it’s why we’re here.”
